… send an email or a letter or, gasp, use the phone. Updating your status on Facebook, posting a blog, or sending a tweet into the world is simply not the same as a personal message… and I actually doubt it ever will be.
This is not a screed, by the way, but rather an observation. I’ve noticed more and more friends and business associates acting surprised when people don’t know some piece of news, even though that news was mentioned somewhere via social media. None has been mission critical information, but it easily could’ve been.
It’s not that I think we shouldn’t use social media to spread the word about news (personal or professional) it’s a fast, often efficient way of doing so. Still, I don’t think there should be an assumption that your news will be seen by everyone who is your friend/follower/reader/subscriber.
If you want to make sure someone knows your news, you need to get in touch with them directly. You probably know for each person in question whether that means email, phone, or even simply using the @reply function of Twitter or Facebook.
Whichever method it is, it’s well worth the effort. If you don’t take that step, I don’t think you can get upset when folks don’t know your news whether it’s that you’ve gotten married, need a job, gotten hired… or anything in between.
What say you? If you update online, do you assume your readers/followers will know? And do you have an idea of when personal contact is necessary… or do you think it’s a thing of the past?
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Please say it’s not a thing of the past!!!! I think it’s just good manners to tell someone your news directly, whether that’s phone, paper letter, or personally sent email. Giving up on personal messages, to me, is losing part of your connection. It’s the same way I feel about bound books vs. Kindle books. I don’t feel as connected to the text if I’m not holding it in my hands and turning the pages directly!
I think you have hit on something important.
*There is a time and a place for everything. There is a time for facebook, Twitter, emails, etc. But then there is also time when a hand written letter or phone call is in order. Hopefully the personal touch isn’t gone.
I have to agree with Gail…there is something about having a book in your hands that just can’t be gained from the Kindle.
Thanks for the post, Greg!
Hi Greg:
My colleagues and I were *just* talking about this the other day. Certain status updates and tweets of a personal nature sometime seem to be tmi! Email is quick and dirty as well, but nothing beats a hand written (yes, I said it) note for news of a personal nature, or a phone call. Most folks are tweeting from their phones anyway!
There are a lot of issues tied into this. There’s the too-much-information aspect, particularly as so many of us use social media for both the professional and the personal. There’s also the fact that IF it’s important to you that specific people see your news, then you need to take responsibility for making it happen. The assumption that everyone reads every update or tweet or blog post is just plain wrong.
I do know there’s some generational aspect to this, as well, but my suspicion is that it will always be true that you need to make the effort to let folks know… and that they’ll appreciate that, too.
Thanks for your thoughts, y’all!
I’m so glad you brought this up, Greg. As much as I enjoy the various forms of social media, embracing them one-by-one as I found an application for them in my work/research/life, there is still NOTHING like a hand-addressed envelope containing a hand-addressed letter in my mailbox.
So I have a collection of cool pens, cards, and colourful stamps to make it easier for me to share this gift with others. Even though I do it less often than I used to, the feedback is extraordinary when someone receives one of those notes.
I’ll continue to do my part to keep the post office in business. And I’ll keep on tweeting, and blogging, and posting FB updates, too – just for different reasons.
I’ve had this happen a couple of times recently, where someone assumed that I knew some important bit of personal news because they had mentioned it in their Facebook status, and I had missed it completely. I agree completely – if you want people to know something, you need to tell them directly. Also, having particular news to share is an opportunity to get in touch with people you care about – NOT doing so is a missed chance for strengthening ties.
I’m going off on a bit of a tangent here…
I find that there are a lot of status updates of a TMI nature, mostly having to do with a child vomiting or dog pooping in the house or general nastiness. (And there I’ve given you TMI as well.) I don’t think people realize their status/tweet is going out to hundreds of people, some of them business associates. Things sometimes get a little TOO personal.
If it’s a piece of news that, had it been five years ago, you’d only share by telephoning your best friend, don’t distribute it via social media.
I also agree that a hand-written note is an exquisite surprise and a symbol of true caring and friendship.
I completely agree. Personal should stay personal.
And I so love real paper and ink, an actual voice – it’s interesting how both hand written notes and phone calls really emphasize the specialness of a communication, now that we have so many other ways to connect.
Tara (and deborah) – to follow your tangent… I’m not sure I agree. We have the choice to follow or not follow people. They can update as they wish, and if I don’t like the way someone updates – too personal, too automated, too much about their Farmville Mafia Family Quiz results… I can block their updates or stop friending/following. Also, some people I follow because I enjoy their take on the details of life. I feel closer to some people because of details shared, or I see the world differently (and I like that). And yes, some people share tooooooo much! But that line is different for each poster and each reader. But even within that… even with someone who I follow because of their level of personal detail… if they want to make sure specific people know news, they need to direct that news specifically to those people.
And I love handwritten notes, too. Heck, on rejection letters I even love handwritten signatures
I so agree – and thanks for mentioning it. It’s been one of those assumptions floating around out there leading to miscommunication.
The cool thing is – no matter how we do it – I think we’ve returned to being a note-writing generation.
e
I *strongly* agree with this, both for personal and professional news: never assume people are regularly following your tweets / blogs / Facebook status. I don’t. If you want a particular person to know something, send them a note or e-mail or phone them.
I’ve had friends in the past who have expressed hurt because I didn’t know a particular piece of information that they posted online. I’ve had people look at me askance when they find out I don’t know info they’ve been posting, saying, “But I posted that on !”
I could rant on for much, much longer on this topic.
But I will restrain myself.
Debbie
Whoops, my angle brackets were interpreted as HTML. The “But I posted that on !” in my comment above should have read: “But I posted that on –FILL IN SOCIAL MEDIA HERE– !”
I assume that very few people follow my Twitter, Facebook or online Livejournal closely. If I ever wanted to make an announcement about signing a publishing deal, getting a new job, graduating from school, etc.–I’d send an email to different groups of people I’m close with who would be interested in hearing the news.
I’d still announce such information on Twitter and the other aforementioned sites; it’s fun to feel like I can “shout something to the world”, but I wouldn’t expect people I don’t know on a personal basis to care too much about my personal news.
Good advice! And sometimes when you post an important shared link on FB even those who might normally see your status may very well miss it. And if you want to mention a URL in your status, FB automatically turns it into a shared link, as far as I can tell.