Comments on: On Facebook, the Friendship’s Mutual (Errrr… Sometimes) http://www.thehappyaccident.net/on-facebook-the-friendships-mutual-errrr-sometimes/ Greg Pincus talks social media and happy accidents (and sometimes chocolate) Wed, 28 Jul 2010 22:08:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Kara http://www.thehappyaccident.net/on-facebook-the-friendships-mutual-errrr-sometimes/comment-page-1/#comment-1143 Kara Sat, 13 Feb 2010 18:40:35 +0000 http://www.thehappyaccident.net/?p=1676#comment-1143 Great post! I originally used Facebook strictly for people I know personally. But as I've met interesting, like-minded people through other social media sites like Twitter and blip.fm, I've found that I needed a forum with which to build that relationship beyond 140 characters--or a hit record--and the obvious place to do it is Facebook. So I have had to expand my vision for FB. I have also found that the overlap of people I have friended--some kidlit folks, some Sox fans, some Whovians--helps to keep my posts and updates suitable for all, both on Twitter and Facebook. Book people might find it "interesting" that I am a sports fan. Doesn't mean they want to see me swearing like a hooligan! .-= Kara´s last blog ..<a href="http://notjustforkids.blogspot.com/2010/02/anticipated-arcs-this-means-war-by.html" rel="nofollow">Anticipated Arcs: This Means War! by Ellen Wittlinger</a> =-. Great post! I originally used Facebook strictly for people I know personally. But as I’ve met interesting, like-minded people through other social media sites like Twitter and blip.fm, I’ve found that I needed a forum with which to build that relationship beyond 140 characters–or a hit record–and the obvious place to do it is Facebook. So I have had to expand my vision for FB.

I have also found that the overlap of people I have friended–some kidlit folks, some Sox fans, some Whovians–helps to keep my posts and updates suitable for all, both on Twitter and Facebook. Book people might find it “interesting” that I am a sports fan. Doesn’t mean they want to see me swearing like a hooligan!
Kara´s last blog ..Anticipated Arcs: This Means War! by Ellen Wittlinger

]]> By: elizabeth http://www.thehappyaccident.net/on-facebook-the-friendships-mutual-errrr-sometimes/comment-page-1/#comment-1127 elizabeth Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:24:37 +0000 http://www.thehappyaccident.net/?p=1676#comment-1127 It seems everybody is dealing with this - nice to read all the input! I have tried to formulate some standard parameters for myself on who I will and won't friend, but have not been able to so far. I'm sure I'm inconsistent, but it does seem to require case by case reflection. And I already crossed the line of 'friends of friends' so long ago, that there's no going back. All I think I can do is make sure that whatever I share isn't too personal, while still contributing valuable information. Hm. Anyhow - it's constantly evolving. Thanks Greg! e It seems everybody is dealing with this – nice to read all the input! I have tried to formulate some standard parameters for myself on who I will and won’t friend, but have not been able to so far. I’m sure I’m inconsistent, but it does seem to require case by case reflection. And I already crossed the line of ‘friends of friends’ so long ago, that there’s no going back. All I think I can do is make sure that whatever I share isn’t too personal, while still contributing valuable information. Hm. Anyhow – it’s constantly evolving.
Thanks Greg!
e

]]> By: BookMoot http://www.thehappyaccident.net/on-facebook-the-friendships-mutual-errrr-sometimes/comment-page-1/#comment-1126 BookMoot Mon, 08 Feb 2010 07:20:51 +0000 http://www.thehappyaccident.net/?p=1676#comment-1126 jone and jen have beautifully expressed my own issues too. I have enjoyed using FaceBook to get to know my kidlit and author friends better. (Seriously, the snow pictures have been so amazing to this Texan.) There was just something very wonderful about being at that first KidLit conference. Those folks really do seem like friends. .-= BookMoot´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.bookmoot.com/2010/02/peter-and-wolf.html" rel="nofollow">Peter and the Wolf</a> =-. jone and jen have beautifully expressed my own issues too. I have enjoyed using FaceBook to get to know my kidlit and author friends better. (Seriously, the snow pictures have been so amazing to this Texan.) There was just something very wonderful about being at that first KidLit conference. Those folks really do seem like friends.
BookMoot´s last blog ..Peter and the Wolf

]]> By: jone http://www.thehappyaccident.net/on-facebook-the-friendships-mutual-errrr-sometimes/comment-page-1/#comment-1121 jone Mon, 08 Feb 2010 00:01:09 +0000 http://www.thehappyaccident.net/?p=1676#comment-1121 Greg, Great post. You have touched on some challenges I face as a library media specialist. I am considering a page for the Silver Star Library so that parents and/or kids who want to see what is happening in the library can. I have ignored some friend requests as they were parents and/or students. This might be a better option. .-= jone´s last blog ..<a href="http://maclibrary.wordpress.com/2010/02/04/poetry-friday-responding-to-prompts/" rel="nofollow">Poetry Friday: Responding to Prompts</a> =-. Greg,
Great post. You have touched on some challenges I face as a library media specialist. I am considering a page for the
Silver Star Library so that parents and/or kids who want to see what is happening in the library can. I have ignored some friend requests as they were parents and/or students. This might be a better option.
jone´s last blog ..Poetry Friday: Responding to Prompts

]]> By: Cynthia Leitich Smith http://www.thehappyaccident.net/on-facebook-the-friendships-mutual-errrr-sometimes/comment-page-1/#comment-1115 Cynthia Leitich Smith Sun, 07 Feb 2010 00:21:38 +0000 http://www.thehappyaccident.net/?p=1676#comment-1115 Hey Greg, I have a fan page because teachers and school librarians have told me that they'd prefer to point teens to that option rather than a personal page. It's less of an issue for me than some authors because I'm publish picture books through YA novels, and therefore, am always well aware that a 10-year-old could be reading anything I say on the 'net. That said, sometimes I feel a little more awkward suggesting that people "fan" rather than "friend" me. But given the heightened scrutiny to folks in these educators' positions, I'm happy to accommodate their comfort zones. Best, Cynthia Hey Greg,
I have a fan page because teachers and school librarians have told me that they’d prefer to point teens to that option rather than a personal page.
It’s less of an issue for me than some authors because I’m publish picture books through YA novels, and therefore, am always well aware that a 10-year-old could be reading anything I say on the ‘net.
That said, sometimes I feel a little more awkward suggesting that people “fan” rather than “friend” me.
But given the heightened scrutiny to folks in these educators’ positions, I’m happy to accommodate their comfort zones.
Best, Cynthia

]]> By: Greg Pincus http://www.thehappyaccident.net/on-facebook-the-friendships-mutual-errrr-sometimes/comment-page-1/#comment-1107 Greg Pincus Sat, 06 Feb 2010 01:16:45 +0000 http://www.thehappyaccident.net/?p=1676#comment-1107 I think as you and Jen Robinson mention, those unexpected connections are something that can make Facebook so interesting and fun. It also shows that there's huge overlap in "networks" - you might know someone from work but find a different connection as parents or book lovers or whatever else. You just never know.... .-= Greg Pincus´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.thehappyaccident.net/on-facebook-the-friendships-mutual-errrr-sometimes/" rel="nofollow">On Facebook, the Friendship’s Mutual (Errrr… Sometimes)</a> =-. I think as you and Jen Robinson mention, those unexpected connections are something that can make Facebook so interesting and fun. It also shows that there’s huge overlap in “networks” – you might know someone from work but find a different connection as parents or book lovers or whatever else. You just never know….
Greg Pincus´s last blog ..On Facebook, the Friendship’s Mutual (Errrr… Sometimes)

]]> By: Greg Pincus http://www.thehappyaccident.net/on-facebook-the-friendships-mutual-errrr-sometimes/comment-page-1/#comment-1105 Greg Pincus Fri, 05 Feb 2010 05:42:28 +0000 http://www.thehappyaccident.net/?p=1676#comment-1105 I see there is a recurring theme that the idea of whatever we post on the net can, at some point, probably be seen by everyone. It's a safer assumption, I think. Which, of course, still doesn't mean we can't share - most of what we talk about really is okay for people to know. It does, though, mean that things like email and letters and phone calls still have a place! .-= Greg Pincus´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.thehappyaccident.net/on-facebook-the-friendships-mutual-errrr-sometimes/" rel="nofollow">On Facebook, the Friendship’s Mutual (Errrr… Sometimes)</a> =-. I see there is a recurring theme that the idea of whatever we post on the net can, at some point, probably be seen by everyone. It’s a safer assumption, I think. Which, of course, still doesn’t mean we can’t share – most of what we talk about really is okay for people to know. It does, though, mean that things like email and letters and phone calls still have a place!
Greg Pincus´s last blog ..On Facebook, the Friendship’s Mutual (Errrr… Sometimes)

]]> By: Leigh Purtill http://www.thehappyaccident.net/on-facebook-the-friendships-mutual-errrr-sometimes/comment-page-1/#comment-1104 Leigh Purtill Thu, 04 Feb 2010 16:21:17 +0000 http://www.thehappyaccident.net/?p=1676#comment-1104 Great post, Greg! I agree with much of what you've said, particularly as it relates to the "public" persona of each of us. Basically I treat everything on my FB page as public for all to see and therefore rarely post anything that could in any way be too personal or revealing of me or any of my family or friends. I probably should do lists but at this point, I have 1000+ "friends" and it would be hard to do! (Okay, I guess I'm too lazy...) Good stuff...cheers~ Great post, Greg! I agree with much of what you’ve said, particularly as it relates to the “public” persona of each of us. Basically I treat everything on my FB page as public for all to see and therefore rarely post anything that could in any way be too personal or revealing of me or any of my family or friends. I probably should do lists but at this point, I have 1000+ “friends” and it would be hard to do! (Okay, I guess I’m too lazy…)

Good stuff…cheers~

]]> By: Greg Trine http://www.thehappyaccident.net/on-facebook-the-friendships-mutual-errrr-sometimes/comment-page-1/#comment-1102 Greg Trine Thu, 04 Feb 2010 03:30:10 +0000 http://www.thehappyaccident.net/?p=1676#comment-1102 Great info, Greg. Since most of what you talked about takes a fair amount of time and thought...and basically, I'm lazy. Here's how I use Facebook; I know it's public, and knowing this, I post only things that I don't mind the whole world knowing. I don't actively seek friends, but I usually say yes to all friend request who are in my industry. .-= Greg Trine´s last blog ..<a href="http://gtrine.wordpress.com/2010/02/02/dead-guys-interviews-%E2%80%94-michelangelo/" rel="nofollow">Dead Guys Interviews — Michelangelo</a> =-. Great info, Greg. Since most of what you talked about takes a fair amount of time and thought…and basically, I’m lazy. Here’s how I use Facebook; I know it’s public, and knowing this, I post only things that I don’t mind the whole world knowing. I don’t actively seek friends, but I usually say yes to all friend request who are in my industry.
Greg Trine´s last blog ..Dead Guys Interviews — Michelangelo

]]> By: Jet Harrington http://www.thehappyaccident.net/on-facebook-the-friendships-mutual-errrr-sometimes/comment-page-1/#comment-1100 Jet Harrington Wed, 03 Feb 2010 22:57:52 +0000 http://www.thehappyaccident.net/?p=1676#comment-1100 Another great post, Greg, exploring as you said in a comment, technology, emotions, and etiquette. I have a similar experience to Jen Robinson above: I have found unanticipated connections with folks who share common interests/professions that go beyond the original connection point (college football anyone?). Making friends because we have mutual friends is not a problem for me, as that can be a wonderful point of connection, and i have great online relationships with folks I have never atually met, but who are known to folks I know. (And by that I mean, folks I know, not folks I "know".) Sometimes I will reach out to someone (or they to me) with a friend request after we have participated in a conversation thread with a mutual friend. That can be fun - the quintessential cocktail party in the cloud. Easily half my facebook friends are high school/college students I have met through my daughter - a great source of ideas and feedback for my writing, true - with whom I have a genuine connection: these kids are great and I enjoy spending time with them, virtually or in person. Some of them are even beta readers for me. Lucky me! Lastly, I try to always remember that EVERYTHING LIVES ON TEH INTERNET FOREVER. But I am comfortable with that. Sometimes I may cross over into TMI for some folks, but I seek to never be hurtful to another. I could live with my mother or my beloved grandmother reading anything I've written, even if they couldn't understand why I chose to share that. .-= Jet Harrington´s last blog ..<a href="http://scatterbeams.wordpress.com/2010/02/03/invisible-children-legacy-tour/" rel="nofollow">Invisible Children Legacy Tour</a> =-. Another great post, Greg, exploring as you said in a comment, technology, emotions, and etiquette.

I have a similar experience to Jen Robinson above: I have found unanticipated connections with folks who share common interests/professions that go beyond the original connection point (college football anyone?).

Making friends because we have mutual friends is not a problem for me, as that can be a wonderful point of connection, and i have great online relationships with folks I have never atually met, but who are known to folks I know. (And by that I mean, folks I know, not folks I “know”.)

Sometimes I will reach out to someone (or they to me) with a friend request after we have participated in a conversation thread with a mutual friend. That can be fun – the quintessential cocktail party in the cloud.

Easily half my facebook friends are high school/college students I have met through my daughter – a great source of ideas and feedback for my writing, true – with whom I have a genuine connection: these kids are great and I enjoy spending time with them, virtually or in person. Some of them are even beta readers for me. Lucky me!

Lastly, I try to always remember that EVERYTHING LIVES ON TEH INTERNET FOREVER. But I am comfortable with that. Sometimes I may cross over into TMI for some folks, but I seek to never be hurtful to another. I could live with my mother or my beloved grandmother reading anything I’ve written, even if they couldn’t understand why I chose to share that.
Jet Harrington´s last blog ..Invisible Children Legacy Tour

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